REVIEW: THE DARK CRUSADER “You Got Spaghetti Coming Out of Your Eyeballs!“ (2025)
While fans of the genre eagerly anticipate this year’s new blockbuster releases from both DC (Superman) and Marvel (Stockton, California’s own The Fantastic Four), one caped crimefighter has already beaten them both to the Wham! Pow! cinematic punch across the face of a silver screen: The Dark Crusader (Coincidentally, another superhero from the 209 area code) hit several select theaters/showings this month in San Francisco and I was fortunate enough to attend the world premiere. Now, full disclosure: I may be a bit biased here writing this up because I know the guy who made it. But that being said, what a blast. It’s amazing. Perfect, even. 10/10. I have nothing bad to say about this movie.
Mostly because I know he’s reading this right now.
Written, directed, produced, edited, starring and featuring original music/songs (when’s the last time you did one of those things) by longtime internet trending phenomenon Vincent Gargiulo, he has a lot to be proud of. The setup goes like this: We follow our hero as he navigates a failing relationship, confronts a rapid decline in public support for his image, battles crippling undiagnosed self worth issues along with your tried and true straight up midlife existential crisis. A tale as old as time as they say. And while all of that may sound like a bit of a downer, Gargiulo has crafted a full length feature overflowing with uplifting comedy and heart.
It cannot be overstated, a good chunk of enjoyment must be credited to the eclectic cast of supporting characters. Popping in here and there with either words of wisdom or confrontations, it’s truly a motley crew of various other “super powered” individuals who are instantly memorable and a sight to behold. A wonderful assortment of personalities, each deserving of their own backstory attention and potential feature lengths (the true DCEU, anyone?). A few that I really got a kick out of were The Mother (who’s super power is having an obscene amount of children), Mr. Pasta (who has a serious pasta sauce drinking problem) and Carlock (who can lock car doors with his mind, but has an ethical dilemma unlocking them). There are plenty of others to meet, but this is an experience worth going into for the surprises.
So yeah, The Dark Crusader is from Stockton, California and much of it is shot there and some surrounding areas. This not only tugged at the heartstrings being a Stocktonian myself but also created a bit of a Rick Dalton meme experience. Revisiting the libraries, playgrounds, grocery stores and bowling alleys from my childhood along with so many other streets and avenues truly threw some extra funk onto that honey sauce of a viewing experience. Nice job bringin’ it on home, talk about a treat.
As for Vincent himself, well I have to hand it to the guy. From beginning to end, The Dark Crusader is a remarkable display of talent. He’s an artist who proudly wears his inspirations on his sleeve and has created a delightful cocktail of comedic/musical influences. A little Andy Kaufman here, some Paul Reubens there, toss in some Monty Python randomness and add a generous helping of good old fashioned Airplane/Naked Gun sight gags?
This one’s got Midnight Movie/Cult Classic status written all over it.
