NINTENDO SWITCH 2 DIRECT: Time to Rock That Body Home!
We’ve been relatively quiet here at the Dorkside about Nintendo’s successor to their hugely popular Switch console because frankly, until 6am this morning there just wasn’t a whole lot to say about it. Like any other upcoming release that gets nerds all worked up, there was plenty of speculation, rumors and theories as to what we could expect to see from the new console. But I’m the kind of guy who wants stone cold facts before I start letting my cheese flap in the wind. So now here we are, Nintendo pulled back the curtain with a presentation this morning revealing the release date, launch titles, new hardware features and all kinds of other goodies that has yours truly crunching the numbers for just how much money is gonna go bye bye on June 5th. I was up pretty early to catch all of the announcements and decided to bullet point my thoughts in real time for your enjoyment.
And at just over 60 minutes, this presentation is a big one so let’s have a looksie, shall we?
Up first is Mario Kart because of course it is!
It is so nice to see a new entry after playing the same tracks in Kart 8 for the last 50 years
Playable cow Confirmed.
Oooh, new costumes!
Planes, Boats and Karts. They’re going full Diddy (Kong).
How this manages to look worth the wait is something only Nintendo can pull off.
Same day launch!? Praise be.
Mario Kart 9-er excuse me, Mario Kart World is already confirmed to be the best selling game of all time.
Ok so what’s new about the hardware?
Ahhh, the long awaited return of Wii speak!
Ok so voice chat is something Nintendo fans pretty much gave up on back in 2006. Still a nice little feature though.
Camera feed! Can we finally map our faces onto characters in first person shooters like Perfect Dark promised back before Y2K?
I can see this being helpful for the nerds who like those thousands of Xenoblade Monster Chronicle Hunter games.
HD display and a much larger screen. Kind of expected but nice to see HDR included in handheld mode.
C’moooon 4k in docked mode, please!
The system really does look so nice and sleek.
3D sound!? Man, I wish I could still hear out of both ears.
256gb of internal storage!? Switch 2 games are gonna be frickin’ huge!
OMG they just confirmed 4k resolution so casually.
Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour is just such a Nintendo thing to do I can’t even…
Ahh dammit, a New Pro Controller!? I mean it looks nice and all, it’s just that I already currently have over a dozen compatible controllers taking up shelf space for the current Switch (No, that is not a low key flex…well, maybe it is kinda).
June 5th release date. Ok…time to sell some more blood?
Nintendo Switch 2 Edition games. I honestly thought that this was a total nerd pipe dream.
Ooooh so it won’t just be performance upgrades but also controller mechanics!
They are really pushing this camera thing huh? It kinda looks like you’re competing on a Japanese gameshow though. I dig it.
Bring on the flood of Karaoke software!
Ah Hell, they’re upgrading BOTW and TOTK too!? I think I made myself sick with the amount of hours already logged into those things!
Well, maybe this will light the fire under my ass to finally beat Tears of the Kingdom.
My dudes, JUST CALL IT METROID PRIME 4K.
Ok NSO is going to carry over as we expected but HOLY SHIT, GAMECUBE GAMES!!!!!!!!!!
So wait, does this mean we aren’t getting Wind Waker HD?
Soul Calibur II is a really underrated fighting game.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, F-Zero GX’s graphics still hold up.
Well that’s another damn controller I’m gonna have to buy right there fer cryin’ out loud!
Eeeeehhh, we don’t need those Pokemon graphics displayed any more clearly.
I’m trying to think of a game that I’d be excited to use this mouse control function for and Extreme Wheelchair Basketball aint it.
Ok third parties, whaddaya got?
Elden Nerds. Pass.
I know a lot of you guys loved Hades but like “fetch,” it just never happened for me. This sequel looks like something they should release simultaneously on the original Switch.
Ok, Street Fighter 6 is a definite must buy.
Another Robot game, some kinda 2 player thing…uh some soccer. I swear, my eyes gloss over whenever I see that EA logo.
Are people still into Harry Potter?
Are people still into skateboarding?
A Hitman game? Uhhh, this 3rd party sizzle reel is giving me some Wii U vibes.
I sure hope this Bond game finally gives you every playable Bond.
Another Chibi RPG, no thanks.
“The Yakuza will kill you five times before you hit the ground!”
More Hyrule Warriors. I truly, deeply love Breath of the Wild, but it’s time to move on from this art style c’mon now guys. Never played Undertale though I have a vague memory of enjoying the soundtrack?
BRUHHHderlands *snooze*
Civilization, wresting and basketball enthusiasts are all such specific strains of weirdos.
Survival Kids sure has that shovelware stink on it, huh?
What the Hell is Enter the Gungeon anyway? And where the F is Silksong ALREADY?
Starseeker, Cyberpunk, Final Fantasy and a bunch of - OH OK THERE’S SILKSONG.
That Reanimal game caught my attention. Looks kinda Inside-y.
Duskbloods just looks like a new 3D Castlevania and I’m still recovering from those N64 games.
Jesus Christ, can you cool it with the Kirby Nintendo!?
I can’t believe we are getting a new Air Ride before a new F-Zero or Star Fox. Just, wow.
A totally new IP? Oh wait no, it’s a new 3D Donkey Kong game.
This actually looks like it should be a Wario title.
Nice animation and I’m digging Kong’s new design.
Haha ok, Bananza is a very clever name.
Welp, that’s it for today! Wow, quite a lot to soak in. And quite a lot to be excited about!
Time for a nap, I sleep now.
NINTENDO SWITCH 2 Drains Bank Accounts Everywhere On June 5th, 2025 and You Know What That Means…
*cough* “Hit it, Brian”:
