RETRO REVIEW: Nintendo Trophy Figure (1988) Mario Stomps the Goombas!

Nintendo is of course synonymous with game systems and software but any child of the 80’s will clearly remember staring at that red logo branded across just about every type of merchandise imaginable. Comic books, action figures, lunch boxes, breakfast cereal…you name it. And like any responsible adult, I’ve still got a pretty solid collection displayed and readily accessible. Today’s example is one that I clearly remember taking home from a Toys R Us at the ripe old age of eight. Back when video games remained locked inside of your imagination until you took a little slip with the receipt stapled to it over to that bullet proof glass window behind the cash register.

#nofilter The 80’s were actually pixelated.

Typically there would be a small row featuring all kinds of “officially licensed” products next to the aisles that housed these magical pieces of paper but usually this stuff was kind of boring: Third party game cases, school supplies, plush dolls, stuff like that. But every once in a while something incredibly cool would pop up which is of course how I came across this figure that I’ve managed to keep in (reasonably) decent shape for the past um…few years.

The Super Mario Bros. “3-Dimensional” Nintendo Trophy Figure:

Well if it isn’t an early attempt at fusing Nintendo franchises with 3D mmmm, technology? As you can see, this is a pretty cool little diorama that’s attempting to create a 3D-like presentation with a large Mario figure in the foreground while a castle is visible “off in the distance” behind him. Needless to say, despite the admittedly cool concept this thing absolutely fails to capture that effect in every possible way. Still, as a kid, owning any kind of Mario figure was a real get and these things were sold as “trophies” so obviously it was just begging to be proudly displayed. As you can see, there’s a little sticker on the bottom right corner that allowed kids to write in their name, the date and high score. The 35 year old ink on this figure has faded quite a bit of course but reads as follows:

Name: Raymond G.

Date: 8/17/1988

High Score: 200,000

200,000!? I know what you’re thinking and I absolutely agree: 200,000 for a high score is a pretty conservative estimate. Especially considering the fact that I’m just about positive I was running through the original Super Mario Bros. without dying by that age. I had to double check to see how high the numbers go up in the actual game score and as expected, there’s some serious room for improvement here:

I have no idea what made me immortalize that specific number but I do know that that date is my Grandfather’s birthday so maybe he had something to do with it? Anyway, this guy has had a place of dust-collecting honor in every room I’ve lived in for the better part of my whole life despite the fact that looking back, there were far cooler options I could have chosen from. Aside from Mario, statues were released based on both The Legend of Zelda and Punch-Out!! games which regularly force me to replace bathroom mirrors if I think about them for too long. I’d post images of them for you but I can’t bring myself to look them up through google images. No, not again. In any case, this “Mario stomping on a bunch of sad-faced goombas” statue of mine has been through a lot with me and we share a common bond that only gets stronger with each passing year. It knows it and I know it. A mutual attachment that we will always share no matter how tough times may be…

….

…I should have picked the one with Little Mac knocking out King Hippo.