BLOG: NINTENDO WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS “Today We’re Gonna Play Like it’s 1990.”
Well alright now, we’ve got the Nintendo World Championships: NES™ Edition hitting Switch this July and I’d like to share a little story of that time when yours truly competed in an actual Nintendo World Championship! The year was 2015 and by “World” Championship, really it just means that the company restricted the event to North America then threw 8 darts at a map covered in Best Buy locations. As luck would shake out, one of the stores happened to be held in San Francisco and about 10 blocks away from where I used to live. Which means? Yep. I can officially someday watch my grandchildren roll their eyes when telling them the tale of how I participated in a Nintendo tournament. Hell, I may even include it on my resume’ from now on.
Anyone alive or interested in Nintendo back in 1990 when the original tournament took place will probably instantly think of the Fred Savage film The Wizard. It was a story that centered around 3 kids on a road trip to California because the youngest had some mental, shall we say powers which made him really good at playing video games. They’re off on a road trip to the World Championships and along the way come across multiple arcade machines and consoles showing off Nintendo games as well as other Nintendo enthusiasts. Most people will remember the movie for that dipshit, blonde villain dude referring to how “bad” the power glove is.
In a shocking twist, the actor grew up to become a full fledged sex offender.
But perhaps the most iconic aspect of the movie is that it all culminates in the debut of Super Mario Bros. 3 being the final challenge in the competition. A sequence that also essentially doubles as the game’s U.S. unveiling since The Wizard hit theaters a couple months before SMB3 actually found space on North American store shelves. This of course means it’s one serious stretch that any of these kids already knew warp whistles existed at all, let alone where one is hidden in the game.
Plenty of memories (both good and bad) this movie had resting in the minds of thirty-something nerds everywhere made our ears perk up when Nintendo announced they’d be resurrecting the tournament. Naturally the nostalgia came flooding in for me personally and there was no way I couldn’t participate. Upon arrival, there were a couple of signs taped to the sliding glass entrance doors and two (very excited) Best Buy employees standing there with clipboards ready to assist with signups and act as escorts to where people were playing. They immediately slapped a Nintendo branded band on my wrist and wrote the number 29 on it in pen, then I was taken to a modest set up where about a dozen or so 3DS systems were scattered around.
Each of the handhelds were preloaded with the Championship mode from NES Remix 2. This consists of three challenges which are as follows:
Super Mario Bros. From the start, collect 50 coins as fast as you can
Super Mario Bros. 3 From the start, collect 25 coins as fast as you can
Dr. Mario Just go for the highest possible score you can manage
The first 2 challenges were a honestly a bit of a breeze and I felt pretty confident in the scores that I’d placed up on the board. But when it came to the third I knew I had a snowball’s chance in Bowser’s castle at the top spot ’cause boy howdy, do I suck at Dr. Mario!
This f&%#in’ guy.
Now I do have to make a minor gripe here as I’ve always had an issue with the 3DS not allowing mappable controls because as is, the placement of the A and B buttons work fine for just about everything except NES games. The original controller had them sitting side by side and it felt completely natural holding down B to pick up speed while simultaneously hitting jump via A with the side of your thumb. But the 3DS has those two keys at a very awkward diagonal angle that’s never felt right to me. And before you get all “a poor craftsman blames his tools” here, I still feel like I did a good job with Mario 1 and 3. It’s just that if we were allowed authentic NES pad button placement I know I would have done a bit better. Really though, this is all neither here nor there because Dr. Mario has and always will administer a merciless blow to my ego no matter the interface. I can’t even bring myself to post the final tally of all three of my scores here on the off chance you may be eating while reading this.
But hey, look! There was also some free swag to be collected that I just about instantly lost in a drawer somewhere. In addition to the paper wristband that I wore for the rest of the week, they handed out some demo QR codes, a cool little Smash Bros. pin and a Lego City figure. So you see, it wasn’t a total loss. Well, aside from the Lego guy I guess.
Overall I’d have to say it was quite the memorable experience and I can now have “Nintendo World Champsionship Competitor” engraved on my tombstone and it won’t be a lie.
